Beating the blues

Life has been busy.  How it’s already March, I have no idea.  Typically January and February are just no fun for me.  I tend to let the cold and dreary weather take control of my mood.  This year, however, I made changes in my life to ensure that this year would be different.  2009 ended with me being less happy than I would have liked and as I mentioned in my first post of 2010 I’m determined to make 2010 a better year.

So in January I made some changes in my life that resulted in a much happier me.  Going to the gym became a priority and I could tell a difference in the way I felt and in my general attitude.  I also took more charge of my professional life, meeting with mentors and others in my company to network and help me develop professionally.

All in all, this winter has been much better than most winters in recent memory.  There are plenty of friends and plenty of laughs.  Even this past week was packed full of dinners and drinks with friends.  By the end of the week, I realized I was zapped.  I neglected the gym for most of the last two weeks and I over-indulged on so many things.  Despite all that’s good in my life, this week was a bit of a downer.

Yesterday, at several points in the day, I was near tears.  I had this feeling of loneliness, of not wanting to be alone.  Many of my friends had plans with significant others or their families and so it looked like I’d be spending the night home alone.  I knew this earlier in the week and was really looking forward to the relaxing night.  Yet, yesterday afternoon was a totally different story.  After departing with some friends I came home to my empty apartment and had a little cry.  I decided I would call another friend I hadn’t seen in over a month and meet him for dinner or a drink.  Still, there was this nagging in my head, “You need a night in.  A night of no drinking.  A night of relaxing.”  But those blue feelings were just nagging.

Instead of giving in, I put on my running shoes and went to the gym.  I ran for an hour and it felt amazing.  I came home with a big smile on my face and was excited about my night in.  I even went so far as to shower, get in my PJs, and send a text message to a few friends that I was staying in just so I wouldn’t be tempted to go out last minute.  Sushi was consumed and a movie On-Demand was ordered.

Today I woke up and felt like a new person.  It’s a real lesson for me that I have finally recognized what I needed to do and most importantly what I did not need.  Even a few months ago if I had days like yesterday, I would have made plans to go out and “have a good time.”  The ending result was always me feeling worse that night and the next day.  I feel like a real adult having recognized those feelings.  Thankfully these days are few and far between for me, but I feel better knowing that the next time I encounter a day like Saturday I will be able to handle it.

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