No more dress up. This one is for real.

I used to consider myself an emotionally tough person.  I was the one who didn’t cry during sad movies or books and never managed to let an argument bring me to tears.  And, I also didn’t cry at weddings.  Something has changed, though, and I’m now a crier.  Seriously, I cry all the time.  Sad movie scene?  Cry.  Argument with a friend?  Cry.  Receive happy news from a friend?  Bawling.  Weddings?  You’d better bring a box of Kleenex ’cause I’m going to need them.

Tomorrow, on New Year’s Day, I’m attending a wedding where I know I’ll be bawling.  I’m actually debating about not even wearing mascara to the ceremony because I know I’ll be a mess.

Many kids grow up surrounded my aunts and uncles and cousins.  I didn’t.  Most of mine lived hours and states away. I don’t think, for me, that this was a bad thing at all.  Instead, I was surrounded and raised by the people I refer to as my Other Mothers and their families.  My parents have a group of ten couples who served as my aunts and uncles; their children, my cousins.  Naturally, I was closer to some than others and tomorrow the daughter of my parents best friends is getting married.

There are countless memories of growing up with Nat who is two years younger than I.  We spent hours upon hours playing house and babysitter and Barbies and school.  And of course, as little girls do, we played wedding.  Since I was the oldest and ALWAYS had to be in charge (somethings never change), I was also the “director” of the weddings.  I was typically the Priest (we were good Catholic girls, after all) and her sister Em served as bridesmaid and my brother served as the groom.  I’m sure our siblings were willing participants in our shenanigans.  We often rehearsed and rehearsed until everything was just perfect.

Tomorrow, Nat gets married for real.  She will walk down the aisle in her wedding dress and veil, not a like the fake ones we played with as little girls.  Em will stand beside her sister as Maid of Honor.  I will sit in the Catholic church we grew up in, the one where we were baptized and stood together as angels in the Christmas pageant and I will watch, through tears, Nat marry the love of her life.

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